The Role of Caustic Wit and Sarcasm and Their Role in Riding Bicycles., or For That Matter, Doing Anything Else Poorly (TRoCWaSaTRnRBoftMDAEP for short), the story.

posted Oct 27, 2012, 7:46 AM by Jay Sully   [ updated Dec 31, 2012, 8:58 AM ]


(if you see an *, see definition at bottom of post.)

Yes. It may surprise you to learn that your friendly author has a title for what it is he does to cover his tracks** that show the path of which the stories of his bike(s) and run(s) and bowls and other activities follow. Some might call it writing, but those who actually 'write' for a living would apply TRoCWaSaRnRBoftMDAEP to this characterization of the composing of these words. And, to be perfectly honest, I type them, I do not 'write' them. And to be frank, do any of you under 30s even know what 'writing' (aka using a pen or pencil to transfer ink to paper in a manner others can read it) means? 

But I digress*. Again. 

This 'article', no matter be it written or typed, is about TRoCWaSaRnRBoftMDAEP. It is not about digression. 

It is however about Sarcasm. 

And Caustic Wit. 

And their use by me to cover my tracks. Some might say 'apologize' to each of you. I wouldn't though. I call it: TRoCWaSaRnRBoftMDAEP. 

Ok, you're right. I need to digress again, already. And this digression will discuss my use of 'Wit'. You're likely thinking, if you actually read this far, (Isn't it funny that red and read sound the same?) that I'm really not that witty. Well, you're right. But like my cycling skills, my running skills, and generally life skills, the world I live in contains 'self-delusion'. And in self-delusion you can achieve anything! For instance, I'm a sprinter! And a climber! and a 4 minute miler! Well, that last one is true. Every mile I run includes at least 4 minutes.

I am witty in the same way I'm a sprinter, a climber, a miler. Cool? Cool! 

Caustic. Perhaps this is a bit strong. I try to keep the Causticism (like that addition of 'ism'?) limited and mostly pointed at those that have done something worthy of having that Causticism pointed in their direction. You know, something like beat me in a sprint, drop me when they try to lead me out, Out climb me on a climb, or ride me off their wheel on the flats or downhills, or into beat me into the line for coffee after a ride. Which includes, let me see, everyone else in the club. Generally. There is that one time, well, never mind. That's a different story. 

And this story that attempts to explain the use of all great writer's (typer's) use of sarcasm and caustic 'wit'. (Ouch, in proof reading this sentence I realized it to not be a sentence. And that skill, typing incomplete sentences, may or may not have lead to me retaking English 101 in college. Of course at that time I also had to write my words, not type them. Really. We'd actually PAY others to type for us.) 

I'm trying that sentence again: And this story is a story that attempts to explain the use of all great writer's (typer's) use of sarcasm and caustic 'wit'. Or in this case, my use of them. 

Would it keep everyone happy if I put 'wit' in quotes so you clearly know I'm using the self-delusional version of 'wit'? Perhaps 'climb' and 'sprint' should have the same treatment? 

Did I just digress again? Does any of this make any sense? If it does, I'm sorry, very sorry for you. Very. 

What was I talking about? Probably a good time to poof*** read the above to remember what the point of these words was when I started. If you didn't already realize this, I sometimes lose track of my path. It's a bit like holding your line in the group, I'm as good at that as I am when it comes to holding my line through a 'story'. 

I'm back from a quick proof read of the above. I must apologize for this story. I don't think I have the time to get to my original point. But I'll give you the executive brief version: I use caustic wit and sarcasm in the stories that appear here in a futile attempt to make people forget that the guy on the red Argon Gallium (not Pro) fell off the back yet again. While he probably crushed (insert someone in need of being caustically witted here), in general it's still a drop for your author, despite my caustic good looks. 

FYI - this began as a story about the Inappropriate Use of Story Enhancing Drugs (IUSED, damn! Now that IS an acronym!) but somehow, by the time it got to the keyboard it turned into this mess. Sorry. 

** Tracks - I was going to use 'ass' here but I didn't want to offend anyone. 

* Digression - a tool used by those without 'writing' capabilities to confuse the reader (isn't it funny that while we type instead of write we still use the term read no matter if the words are written or typed? This is where you go 'What the heck is he (me) thinking?) Back to digression - a tool used by those without real writing capabilities to confuse the reader (you, I hope) into thinking there may actually be some value hidden somewhere within the words that follow beyond the digression. A typists secret: There probably isn't. Don't tell anyone though. 

*** poof - joke. See I was going to proof read so I though it would be funny to type poof instead. Sort of irony. But then I bet I'm confused between irony and sarcasm. Just go with it.